I think I’ll take a break from just posting YouTube clips here on my blog – I’ll put them in a more appropriate spot, like
my locker my facebook wall.
Yes, today I’ll tell you of an experience of self-realization which came to me a few weeks ago. As I was In Recovery, and therefore banished to my bedroom for most of my hours, I was looking forward to Getting Back Into The Swing Of Things. One morning, after the children had gone to school, I decided to take my show downstairs; that is, I hobbled down three flights of stairs with my cane to sit at the computer and continue to listen to a radio show whilst I checked my email. Darin was home from work that day, typing away at his laptop. I opened the show’s chatroom to listen along, and about fifteen minutes into listening while catching up on my google reader, an interesting topic of conversation came up. One of the show’s personalities, The Producer, is fresh-faced, Mormon, in his late-20s, and single. He mentioned, casually, that for him, dating someone who doesn’t have, or isn’t on her way to receive, her college degree, is a deal-breaker. Oh, sure, he may go out with her once to be nice, but his involvement ends there. This conversation was brought on by the relaying of some information that throughout our country, post-secondary education enrollment numbers were down for men, but up for women . . . that is, except for here in Our Fine State, where more men
(wah-waaaaah) are enrolled than women. Speculation followed that perhaps this is because the women here are Doing Their Duty Getting The Spirits Here.
Now, remember, I was listening to this on my computer, and as it was something that sparked some interest (ie, something about which people began to phone in to give their opinions), I switched over to the chat room. The people in there were giving their own opinions, none so readily as someone I’ll refer to as dragonflygirl (being that that’s how ‘she’ refers to herself), who was saying things about how, “No Wonder – because he’s a Mormon, and the Church Leaders discourage women from getting college degrees.”
That’s when I stepped in.
“The church encourages all, perhaps especially women, to go to college, to get all the education they can.”
Dfg: “No they don’t.”
“Um, yes they do.”
Dfg: “Um, no they don’t.”
This prompted other chatroom participants to allcaps yell FIGHT!
“They absolutely do.”
Dfg: “They absolutely don’t. I’ve seen the letters.”
“What letters?”
Dfg: “The letters that church leaders send to girls when they graduate from high school.”
“Again, what letters?”
Dfg: “The letters that tell them that they shouldn’t go to college, they should be spending their time looking for a husband.”
“If those letters exist, they aren’t from leaders of the Mormon Church.”
Dfg: “Yes they are. My friends have shown me their letters.”
“I’ve never even heard of this.”
Dfg: “Just because you’ve never seen them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Try thinking outside yourself. These letters are sent in places that aren’t Utah.”
“Most of my life has been spent in places that aren’t Utah.”
Dfg: “Even in Utah girls are sent these letters. The ones I saw are from friends who live in small Utah towns.”
“If your friends received letters like that, they weren’t from leaders of the LDS church.”
Dfg: “Yes they were. I saw them. The were signed by local county leaders.”
“Church isn’t a county thing.”
Dfg: “The local leaders. They send them out.”
“My husband is A Local Leader, and he’s sitting right here, I’ll ask him. Hm. Weird. He has never heard of it either.”
Dfg: “When you’re close-minded because you’re involved in it, you can’t see it for what it is. Mormon church leaders don’t want women going to school.”
At this point I had a realization.
My blood boiling, and the fact that this girl was either lying or just uninformed and certainly wrong, I saw myself: 32 years old, mother of 6:
In a chat room.
Come on.
So my reply was, “My intention is not to argue. Just saying what I know, just like everyone else here, I suppose.“
My bow-out was followed by others typing in, “Love you,” and “You’re welcome here anytime,” messages to me.
As I let go of that and continued on my morning, I followed along casually to see what else was discussed and found out that dragonflygirl is currently Taking Classes. One guess as to what her major is.
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